Journey Out Of The Pit

This blog was born from my own personal battle with anxiety and depression. There was a point in my life, a few years ago, that was so dark and so frightening, I really wasn't sure if I would survive or if I even wanted to. I tried many options based on advice from others such as medical professionals and even well-meaning Christians, but found little to no relief. It seemed I was caught in a pit of no hope, and was destined to live as a victim of circumstances. And as miserable as it was, I had grown weirdly comfortable with this familiar role...the self-proclaimed role of "lifetime victim". Just like the Children of Israel, I feared freedom...freedom from the bondage of a cruel and wicked ruler. I craved the familiar even though it was miserable.

Thankfully, God did not leave me there. "He brought me up also out of that horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock and established my steps. He put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God..." Psalm 40:2-3. On the way up out of that pit, God taught me some very specific lessons and those are the things that I want to share with you. Things that I still use today when the enemy tries to take me hostage with fear and depression...things that really work! This is going to take a series of blogs, and I have decided to start by sharing a couple of things that DO NOT work...I've tried some of them numerous times, and I can tell you, they are not the cure. So, let's get started!

Almost always where you see one, you see the other: anxiety feeds depression and vise versa. Proverbs 12:25 tells us that "Heaviness in the heart of man makes it stoop....". (Literally translated: Anxiety in the heart causes depression) So, what's the answer?
If we were playing the game show Jeopardy, and the answer was "Things that DO NOT work to fix anxiety and depression", the question would be:
What are the quick fix, focus on self, focus on others, and focus on sin, Alex?
These are four things that DO NOT work...let's talk about them in more detail.
The Quick Fix:
What does this mean? One thing I craved was relief. I wanted it now and with as little effort on my part as possible. I was exhausted and didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, let alone do any work. So, I was on a quest for the quick and easy. If I could just swallow a pill and feel better, that would be the ticket! So, under the care of a doctor, I began taking several types of medication. Some for anxiety and some for depression. I was diagnosed with mood disorder and bipolar...I now had a label! I know these are real conditions, but for me, it was like being branded. Sealed into bondage in a sense. An excuse for spending 18 hours a day in the bed and not taking on any responsibilities for fear that I would have a bad day and let people down. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against medication and in fact, I believe it can be used as a tool. But if you are looking for a quick and easy cure, you will find what I found...disappointment and emptiness. Let me make this very clear. I believe depression is real, I believe it manifests itself physically, and I believe medication can be a tool. But it is not the cure...even if you are medically bipolar, you still have an emptiness that can be filled with only one "thing"...God himself. I'm sure you have seen the commercials for the depression and anxiety medications that say "9 out of 10 people who are taking medication for depression or sadness still experience symptoms". This was true for me...I was medicated and numb, but still empty. It didn't fill the hole in my soul. There came a point when I had no doubt that God was directing me to stop depending on medication and to start depending on Him alone. That being said, I must insert a disclaimer here. If you are taking medication under the care of a physician, I do not recommend that you stop taking it unless you consult the physician and do so under their care and only if you are certain that God is leading you in such a way. Do not feel shame if you are at a place where you need this tool. There is a place for medical intervention and shame only intensifies anxiety and depression.
Let me sum it all up...Sometimes, medication is needed at as a tool to help with symptoms of depression and anxiety. In those times, we should be thankful that it is available and should not feel ashamed. But we should view it as a tool and not the cure because depression and anxiety are spiritual battles and will only be won with spiritual weapons...which I will share in detail in a future blog.
Focus On Self:
Okay, here's another thing I tried...I had several counselors who told me I had to learn to love myself. You need to take care of yourself first and focus on your needs right now. No one will love you if you don't love yourself. Just tell yourself, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog-gone-it, I like myself!" Well let me tell you, focus on self does NOT work. Self centered people are not pleasant...they are miserable! We were not created to serve self...we were created to serve God and find acceptance in Him alone. He does love us, even when we're not lovable and even when we don't love ourselves. True happiness comes from focusing on Him which I will cover in detail later...focus on self does not work!
Focus on Others:
If focus on self doesn't work, you would think the obvious answer would be focus on others. Haven't you heard people say, get busy helping someone else and you're problems won't seem very big. It will get your mind off of yourself! Well, there is some truth there and there is a time for that, BUT when you are empty, you have nothing to give others. Many times, under these circumstances, we are trying to earn favor or approval by being a good Samaritan. When you don't get that pat on the back, it can be very discouraging. The truth is, serving others is a natural result of focusing on God and being filled with His goodness and love. But getting this out of order can lead to deeper depression instead of satisfaction and joy.
Focus on Sin:
This one is a little touchy. Is anxiety and depression sin? In His Word, God issued the command to "fear not" more than any other command. He sent His Son that we may have life and have it more abundantly and He said it was impossible to please Him without faith. When we live our lives consumed with depression and anxiety, it is displeasing to God. That being said, well meaning Christians would criticize me for my lack of faith, and tell me I just needed to read my Bible and pray more. There is never reason for a Christian to be without hope, you are obviously not right with God, they would say. Well, there was an element of truth in what they were saying, but though their intentions were good, this caused me to be so focused on my failures and weaknesses, that I found myself deeper in it, than progressing out. Focusing on our sin and weakness DOES NOT fix anxiety and depression.

Chances are, you have tried one or more of these things that don't work...and found the same results that I did. Well, the good news is to follow...in the next several blogs, I'm going to share with you the things that DO work! The things that God used to bring me up out of the pit...and I guarantee that they will work for you too.