Look What I Found!!!

Our family brought in the New Year with a busted hot water heater and 40 gallons (or so) of water in our carpet.  We've lived in this house for 17 years and have never had a claim on our homeowners insurance.  We've also never had new carpet.  Every year we would tuck back a little money to get new floors but a car would break down or a kid would need money for a school trip...you get the picture.  Anyway, it was beyond repair and the adjuster came out and wrote us a check for new carpet through the whole house.  Yay!!!!!!!  There was the silver lining!  

Only, guess what.  I went into our bedrooms and began to assess the situation and did you know there is carpet under the bed?  And the dressers...and the pile in the corner...AND the closets????  Yep, just move those shoes and bags and right there it is...CARPET!!!  We had to move everything out of every bedroom to bring in the new carpet. And suddenly I realized that somewhere along the way, we collected A LOT of stuff.  I really hate piles...I like tidy and orderly and everything in it's place.  But, life happened and we lived in survival mode and things piled up.  So, I began to pack boxes and purge junk and I found stuff I forgot I had.  And I began to dream...about a beautiful bedroom and a fresh start.  I would paint and get new bedding with lots of pillows and it would be a place to relax after a long day!  

Of all the things I found that day in that room, HOPE was the most valuable.  

And so I began to realize that my heart and mind had become just like my bedroom.  Life happened and I went into survival mode and stuff started piling up.  

 It's a new year...an opportunity for new things, but I couldn't dream.  I couldn't get excited.  And as I went in to assess the situation, I realized that somewhere, under piles of disobedient thoughts, and unsurrendered fears and even unforgiveness...was my hope.  There was no room for new things.  I was going to have to pack up and purge old things.

Now ya'll...I know better!!  I've taught workshops on bringing every thought into obedience.  But the trials were bigger in this season and the mountains were taller and the waves were relentless, and for a brief time, I took my focus from the Source of my hope.  

It was so subtle.  I didn't even realize what was happening.  I was just getting through my days and the piles were forming.  

So now...I rejoice as I purge the junk.  I begin to dream about what beautiful thing God is going to do because as I'm casting out imaginations and packing up disobedient thought...I'm finding my hope and I'm getting excited about new things!

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

II Cor 10:5

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? HOPE  in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43:5

TMI!! Where's the Love?

Recently, as I was doing a study on insecurities, I ran across something that has been on my mind so much, I finally decided it was time to write.  I want to share this thought with others because I believe it is such a subtle and destructive tool of satan.  I have seen it at its ugliest and I myself have been guilty of it at one time or another.

I read a passage in a book called “So Long Insecurities” by Beth Moore.  The passage described the account of a young lady who was engaged to a guy and learned some things about him that caused her to rethink her decision to marry him.  She believed God brought this information to her attention to protect her from making a life-long mistake.  But though she had enough information to make the right decision, she was driven to learn more.  To her detriment, she went on a fact-finding mission.  The information she gathered did nothing for her except to wound her more deeply and strip her further of her security.

The lesson here is HUGE!  When God wants us to know something, He is able to reveal the matter without our going to dig it up.  And when He is doing the revealing, no matter how upsetting or disappointing, He is also supplying the grace and wisdom we need to deal with the matter.  Where we get into trouble is when we get TOO MUCH INFORMATION.  I’m not talking about sticking our heads in the sand here…we don’t have to go to one extreme or the other.  I don’t know all that motivates us to “dig up” stuff or continue to “gather” information God never intends for us to know…I’m certain there are some people who are just malicious and desire to destroy and some who are just plain nosey…but I think in many cases it is motivated by the lie we believe from the enemy that we need to protect ourselves.  Some of us have been wounded…deeply wounded.  We find it difficult to trust and feel we need to brace ourselves for the next hurt.  We don’t want to be caught off guard and disappointed…we don’t want to be “gullible”.  We analyze the apologies of another to decide whether it’s safe to accept it and say, “Fool me once…shame on you!  Fool me twice…shame on me!  The problems is…TMI without the grace and wisdom of God does the opposite…it strips us of security, wounds us and destroys relationships.  I’ve personally seen this mindset destroy a church body.  It’s WRONG!!!  If you are tempted in this way, I implore you to consider what God’s Word says in I Corinthians 13.  I will paraphrase verse 7…Love bears all things: a good example of this is a parent whose child has made a mistake.  Though the parent deals with the matter, they do not share it with everyone because they do not want others to think badly of their child.  They cover the matter in order to protect their character.  We are called to do this with our fellow Christians.  Love believes all things: rather than being cynical, love believes the best of others.  It hopes that the best will come out of the mistakes of others.  It endures all the wrong doing of others because self has been sacrificed and the Spirit of Love is in full control.

Our hearts tell us it’s risky, our flesh says protect yourself, the world tells us it’s being gullible…God calls it love…and says we’re nothing unless we’re expressing it the way Christ did.

Let’s trust God to do our protecting and to supply the information we NEED…let’s reject TMI and get to the business of loving!

Mary: A God-Sized Life

Luke 1:37 "For with God nothing shall be impossible."

The idea was proposed to me during a sermon by my pastor that we should ask God to do something God-sized in and through our lives. Well, this idea had never occurred to me. My first thought was, "Sounds scary...". Then I began to really ponder this concept and I knew I wasn't worthy to be used in such a way. I was honest with God and poured out my concerns and He patiently brought me to a place of surrender. I told Him I would give Him all the glory if He would do something God-sized in my life. Soon after, I received some unexpected news that would mean some changes for me. It wasn't something I would have chosen, but God assured me that it was part of the God-sized work I surrendered for. I guess you could say this required a second level of surrender. To give up my 'me-sized' plans for His plans.
In hopeful anticipation, I wait, believing God will complete the work He has started. One source of hope I draw from is the example of Mary, the mother of Jesus.
The invitation:
At some point, Mary invited God to do something God-sized in her life. The Scripture doesn't give specifics on this, but we know that God doesn't take over what hasn't been offered to Him.

The surrender:
Mary was a teenage girl who was anticipating her upcoming wedding. She was an ordinary girl with dreams and plans which were all changed by some unexpected news. We see in Luke, chapter one, that Mary's first reaction was fear when she learned she would be the mother of God's son. Then there was confusion...how can this be? She had never been with a man...what would people say. What would Joseph say? Could this be from God?!? You and I would have chosen a well established husband and wife with a decent home and income...maybe even other children so that they were experienced parents. But God's ways aren't our ways! He chooses to use ordinary people who are surrendered. In verse 38, we see Mary come to another level of surrender..."Behold the handmaid of The Lord. Be it unto me according to thy word." She said, Have thine own way Lord!

The glory:
Then we go look down at verse forty-nine of Luke 1, and there we see the real secret of the God-sized life. Mary gives all the glory to God! She says, "For He that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is His name!" This was possibly the hardest part for me initially because, as I have mentioned in previous entries, I have struggled greatly with insecurities and the need for approval. I can say today that my greatest joy is to bring glory to my Savior alone! It gives my whole life purpose...Holy is His name!!!

Mary had the Lord Himself living inside of her and God used her to bring forth the Word incarnate to the world. I'm certain, like any expectant mother, Mary nurtured that life inside her making sure to create a healthy dwelling place. Those of us who have received Christ as Savior also have Him living inside of us and God desires to use us in much the same way He used Mary...to bring His living Word to a lost and dying world.
In verse 28, the angel told Mary she was 'highly favored'. This is the same thing that is being said to all believers in Ephesians 1:6, "To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted (favored) in the beloved." Jesus did the work to make us worthy and God desires to do a God-sized work in the life of every believer if we will ask, surrender, and give Him all the glory.
Mary was willing for her life to be changed in order that the lives of so many others may be changed...what better purpose could we have in 2013?

My Only Hope: Death

"It's as if the Lord has our name on specific trials.  They are specifically designed for us, arranged with our weaknesses and our immaturity in mind.  He bears down and doesn't let up.  And we groan and we hurt and we weep and we pray and we grow and we learn." Chuck Swindoll

"Man's goings are ordered by the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?" Proverbs 20:24

For so long, every time the Lord has designed trials for me, I have been convinced that I coped with these times far worse than other people who go through difficulties...and maybe I did and do.  I'm not sure where I got the idea that these tests were to grade our "coping skills"...I just assigned myself a grade and in my mind I always fell short.  The enemy convinced me that my value was less than others because of the things I went through as a child.  I was damaged goods...never good enough for God to use in a big way.  I would have to settle for something mediocre.  I equated "value" with "importance and rank" which I based on performance.  I became obsessed with proving that I could be trusted with something big, and craved to be affirmed by other people.  I was addicted to approval and acceptance and would do anything for another "fix".  If I got an "atta girl", it was a good day and I felt an sense of relief for a time, but if no one noticed me or I made a mistake or was criticized in any way, I was devastated; convinced that I was right in thinking that I could never be valuable.  Oh boy!  This became a deep rooted bondage.  But even when the Lord revealed to me what was going on and I recognized it for what it was, I couldn't break free on my own.  I tried over and over again and failed miserably.  God would have to tear out that root and, as I would soon find out, it was intertwined and wrapped around every part of my soul.  The Great Physician would have to perform surgery...very painful surgery.  As the realization of how painful this would be resonated in my mind, a theme became evident.  Suddenly, every sermon I heard was about dying.  All my Bible reading was about dying...everything was pointing to death.  I realized the only solution.  A reality that was so frightening, I fought against it until I was so miserable and so weary, I could no longer fight...only surrender to the inevitable...DEATH!
I had spent years in depression feeling like I was buried alive.  In a deep pit of despair that felt like a grave.  I imagined death would be a relief and yet everything in me fought to live.  I cried out and God heard me and delivered me back with the living.  I was so surprised and excited when He delivered me to be not only functioning, but apparently being used by God in my church and in the lives of others.  It was more than I could ever have hoped for!  And now I learn that the only cure for my approval addiction is death!
Death...once again alone, forgotten, useless.  That's how I pictured it.  Death isn't pretty or exciting.  It goes against our human drive to live.  But I had two choices: 1.)Keep my life and live it in crippling bondage, or 2.) Go down to the grave.  Take up my cross and follow Christ unto death.
Finally, I surrendered...crawled up on the alter to have the root ripped from my soul.  I will not lie to you...it was painful.  It was very painful. 
BUT IT WAS SWEET!  So very sweet.  I did feel alone and forgotten for a short time.  But my Savior did not leave me in that grave.  He resurrected me...He raised me up!  I woke up and I was free!  Free from the bondage of condemnation.  Free to be who He created me to be.  Free to raise my hands up when I sing praises to His name.  Free to cry and laugh...even free to fall down and fail!  It no longer mattered about me...suddenly there was no one in the world except Him.  The cross and death saved my life from hell and it saved my life from bondage.  I'm FREE!

John 12:24-25
"Verily, verily, I say unto you.  Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone:
but if it die, it brings forth much fruit.  He that loves his life shall lose it!"

Seeing in the Dark

Have you ever spent the night somewhere, like a hotel or maybe a relative's house at the holidays, and woke in the night? It's hard to sleep sometimes in an unfamiliar place...but even harder to try to maneuver around in the dark. I rarely sleep through the night, regardless of where I am. But, when I get up and try to find my way around in an unfamiliar room in the dark, I move very slowly. If you had night vision goggles, you would see me groping around, stumbling on things, running into furniture and walls and usually wounding myself. Not a graceful sight...I assure you!
But, in my own room, when nature or a child calls me out of my sweet slumber, I can get out of the bed without seeing a thing, and move freely and confidently throughout the room. I don't run into walls or stumble over furniture.
Why? Because I know my room. It's as if I have a picture of it in my mind. I have confidence because, for years, the dresser has been against the far wall, the door to the hall is to the left, the desk is to the right and the restroom door is straight ahead. It hasn't changed.

The other day, I was looking out the back door at what I knew would be one of the last sunny days of summer. (I appreciate something about every season that God has made, but I feel great when the sun is shining.) I looked up to the sky, and said, "God, why can't the sun shine everyday? You know how I struggle on the dreary days when I can't see the sun."
Now, I honestly did not expect a response...but He spoke to my spirit. "Danielle, look at things right now while the sun shining. Now, take a picture of that in your mind and save it. Now, on the days when darkness covers everything, and you can't see the sun, look at that picture and remember that nothing has changed in the dark. You just can't see it right now...but it's the same...I'm the same."
Wow!! Just because it looks different...doesn't mean it is different.
We can walk through the dark times just as easily as we walk through the good times, if we know Him. Because to know Him is to know that He never changes. To know Him is to know He never leaves or forsakes. To know Him is to know that He is merciful and longsuffering. To know Him is to know that nothing is too hard for Him. To know Him is to know that He ALWAYS has a plan that He is working for your good and His glory...no matter how many times you have failed Him.
We must long to know Him. We must study to know Him. Our faith is strengthened by hearing. How do we hear? Through the Word of God. (Romans 10:17)
Whether you realize or not, you have a picture of God in your mind. What is it based on? Your feelings, your circumstances, your past failed relationships? Or is it based on the Truth...found in His Word. Get to know Him. You will find yourself walking confidently through things, even when you can't see Him in them...because you know He never changes...even in the dark!
For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. (Proverbs 3:26)

Prescription for Anxiety: Take as Directed Step 4

In the last post, we looked at Matthew 6:33, which told us to "Seek ye first..." We touched on getting our focus on God, but let's look at that in detail because if we are to have victory over anxiety, we must adjust our focus!
When we are focused on Him, He gets bigger and bigger in our eyes and our problems get smaller and smaller. Just like the hymn says, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. That's not just a song you know...it's the truth!
Those of us who are experiencing anxiety, are most likely focusing on one or both of the following things: circumstances and/or self. Let's focus on our focus for one moment.

Circumstances:
There was a man named Peter. Matthew tells us about an experience Peter had and I think we can all identify with it. Most folks have heard of the familiar story found in chapter 14 of Matthew's gospel, where the disciples got into the boat and crossed to the other side of the sea. The clouds probably looked dark and suspicious when they started out, and before the evening ended, a terrible storm had brewed and was causing fear for even the experienced fisherman, Peter. The men looked out onto the water and saw something that frightened them as much as the storm...could it be a ghost? Of course, soon they would realize it was Jesus. Peter wanted to make sure it was Him, and not some spirit, so he asked Jesus if He would allow him to walk on the water too. "Come" Jesus replied and without a second thought, Peter hopped out of the boat and began to walk on the water! Well, you're probably thinking about now, "No, Danielle, I can't relate to this story. I have never walked on water." But hang on because we're getting to the good stuff....verse 30 tells us this: Peter was walking on the water..."But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me!"
So much packed into that one sentence!!!
First of all, I want you to notice the sequence of events: 1.) Peter focused on the storm (circumstances) instead of the Lord. 2.) He became afraid. 3.) He began to sink.
This is exactly what happens to us. We focus on the storms of bills, health problems, consequences of past mistakes, the decision that looms over us...on and on. Then we get afraid and what does fear and anxiety always lead to...depression. We sink into discouragement and depression. BUT!! What did Peter do when he started to sink? He cried to the Lord, save me! And verse 31 tells us: "and immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Wouldn't it be great if we could learn not to doubt? To keep our eyes focused on Him and walk over the stormy waves in our life?
I know this is what we all want, but when we do sink, He is always there...we can cry out to Him and He will save us. What a wonderful, gracious Savior!
Now, while we all struggle with doubt, we can learn to sink less and less, by purposely looking over the crashing waves and keeping Him in our focus!

Self:
We've already covered the importance of taking our thoughts into captivity. Let's go a little further with that and consider the tape recorder we all have playing over and over in our minds. What message is recorded on yours? Does it say, "Oh, you're so stupid...why did you say that?". Or maybe, "Everybody is talking about you and they all think you are ________". Maybe you hear something someone actually said to you that was hurtful or maybe you remember a past mistake and cringe. Whatever it is...it is focus on self and it is a form of pride. Eventually, if left unchecked, it will lead you to anxiety and depression.
Author Tim Hansel reports his findings after a study on self talk:
When we speak normally, we speak at a rate of 120 words per minute. But, our self talk (inner dialogue or tape recorder) is spoken at a rate of 1300 words per minute which adds up to 78,000 words per hour and 1,248,000 words per day...and this does not include the 8 hours we sleep. His findings show that 70 percent of all self talk is negative!!!! This should not be.
The truth is, the human brain can not think of two things at the same time...if we are spending this much time focused on self and negative thoughts, we most certainly are not meditating in His Word day and night.

The answer to the problem goes back to taking our thoughts into captivity and recording a different message on that tape recorder. We must be proactive in putting the right things in our mind and then choosing to over ride the negative with the positive. Quit listening to the father of lies...quit making his job so easy! Sometimes we are own worst enemy.

The Bible talks about this. Our own heart attacks us...you know the same heart that is deceitful above all things...the one that is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). I John 3:20-21 says "For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. But if our heart condemns us not, then we have confidence toward God". The heart, in this sense, is referring to our "meditator"...the part of us that reasons things out and forms beliefs. You see, what we meditate on or think about over and over, determines what we believe. What we believe determines how we respond to the circumstances in life...and our responses are the vehicle that takes us where we will go. God wants us to have confidence in Him...not so we have a warm fuzzy feeling inside, but so that we can accomplish His purpose for our lives...so we can go far for His glory. Ephesians 3 talks about that purpose and it says He wants to do in us and for us, exceedingly and abundantly above what we could ask or think!
The truth is...most of us give up, or don't even try to fight against the discouraging and anxious thoughts...we don't want to do the work to have a disciplined thought life because we don't believe it is worth it. But it is worth it...it is! You don't have to take my word for it...take His Word for it! Focus on Him and you can and will experience peace.

The prescription for anxiety is peace. Remember: God has promised a different kind of peace...a peace that passes understanding! The world's "peace" offers immediate but temporary relief and is always followed by costly consequences and shame. God's way costs something up front, but is always followed by great reward.
He tell us in John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world gives. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Prescription for Anxiety: Take as Directed Step 3

In the first blog, we discovered that peace is freedom from disquieting and oppressive thoughts. Peace is the prescription, the cure in fact, for anxiety. Each blog in this series has been a step for obtaining peace. Let's look at a verse that will help us with Step 3...Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You: because he trusts You."
There it is again...a mind fixed on God and godly thoughts will have peace. If you feel anxious, you automatically know your mind is not stayed on God. But there is a second part introduced here. Trust.
We must learn to trust Him.
When I was first coming out of the pit, I was so overwhelmed. I really didn't know where to start first. I thought, if God would just remove these difficult circumstances, I would be happy and trust Him. But God did not wave a magic wand and fix everything. As I was crying out to Him and asking Him what to do first, He led me to Matthew 6:33. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Think about that and read it again!!!
He was actually saying to me, "Danielle, here's what you do first. You get your mind focused on me. You seek me and my righteousness, and I will take care of all these things you are worried about." I was SO excited. So, I went back and read the verses before to find out what things would be added unto me...in verse 31 it said what I would eat, drink and wear...in fact all things I was in need of...were the things God would take care of. It said He knows what things I am in need of...He's just waiting for me to focus on Him. After all, as verse 26 and 28 says, He does that for the birds and the flowers and we are more important to God than those things. Haven't you ever noticed that the birds always have a song...it's because they aren't worried about their next meal. They are not worried about anything. They know their Creator is going to provide. Getting our mind off of our problems and needs, and getting them focused on God, will bring peace. But it takes us trusting Him.
But there is more...Matthew 6:34 says this, "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
This verse is a warning...a warning against looking too far down the road and trying to handle tomorrow's problems with only today's grace. Listen...Looking too far down the road overwhelms us and causes anxiety and depression.
I remember waking up in the mornings in those early days of coming out of the pit, and feeling this dread that would beat me back down into the bed. I would think about the day ahead or the weeks ahead, and I just felt overwhelmed and hopeless. I was defeated before I got started in the day. Well guess what!! I didn't know it at that time, but I didn't have to try to handle tomorrow's problems today, because I get new grace, mercy and compassion from the Lord tomorrow to handle tomorrow's problems. In fact, we all do...we all get new mercies every single morning! And when we recall that, we have hope. Just like Lamentations 3:21-22 says, "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."
So, to summarize Step 3...First things first! First, seek Him and His righteousness. Then, don't look too far down the road trying to handle tomorrow's problems with only today's grace. Instead, trust Him to take care of your needs which includes new grace for the day's difficulties.
When we TRULY believe that He is working every single thing together for our good, we can rejoice in the face of hard times...this is where trust begins. Believing that God is able and even desires to do a great work in us. And it really helps in the dark times to remember that God's Word promises that all things are only for a season. It may seem like there is no end to the suffering, but God says, "I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jeremiah 29:11)
And I didn't plan to say this...but let me tell you what was the most freeing moment in my life. It was when my pastor said, God made the game and He made the rules the game is played by. He is God and you are not. In that moment, instead of being angry at God for the past and present pain or resisting God's authority in my life, I surrendered. Peace flooded...literally flooded till I felt it physically fill my whole body. Sweet surrender! I began to trust Him in that moment and it was a step out of the pit!
Step 3 to peace is Learn to Trust God! Watch for Step 4 in the next blog.